Currently Playing
Hillsong
Album

More than Life United

Track Always

THIS POEM IS ABOUT THIS FEMALE I THOUGHT I WOULD HONESTLY MARRY ONE DAY.... WE WERE JUST GOOD FRIENDS BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HER .. YOU KNOW? ..WE WOULD GET ON THE PHONE AND TALK FOR HOURS.... WHAT HAPPENED YOU ASK? SHE GAVE UP AND STOPPED BELIEVING IN JESUS.....

WE HARDLY TALK ANYMORE BUT I THINK ABOUT HER EVERY NOW AND AGAIN....

 

Unknown Lover    By Justin “neo” Shockley

I look at your picture through plastic glass

I reach down and try to imagine a brighter day

your eyes your nose and your lips

perfectly arranged by Gods hands

so beautiful

I never knew how beautiful you are

your system makes my heart beat faster but

I wish things could be placed differently

I wish this journey would take 3 points instead of one

I wish the fire that burns in me would overtake you

to a place overflowing with milk and honey

understanding left you insightful, sagacious, and rich

I wish you knew

I wish your heart wasn’t so big

but blessed are windracers a perfect heart they’ll never find

I cry out holy and pray for his hands that will patch your heart.

I love you still

Currently Playing
Social Distortion
Album

Live at the Roxy

Track Story of my life

 

 

¹² Then Joshua spoke to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel:

      “Sun, stand still over Gibeon;
      And Moon, in the Valley of Aijalon.”

    ¹³ So the sun stood still,
      And the moon stopped,
      Till the people had revenge
      Upon their enemies.

   Is this not written in the Book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and did not hasten to go down for about a whole day. ¹⁴ And there has been no day like that, before it or after it, that the LORD heeded the voice of a man; for the LORD fought for Israel.

READING THIS PASSAGE STRENGTHENS ME. ITS IMMENSLY POWERFUL. I SIMPLY DONT HAVE THE WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW POWERFULL THIS IS......

READING THIS SHOULD GIVE US STRENGTH NO MATTER WHAT THE PROBLEMS ARE IN OUR LIVES. TRUST GOD.

Currently Playing
Hillsong
Album

More than Life United

Track Open up the heavens

I WROTE THIS FOR MY SISTERS BDAY

Currently Playing
Calibretto 13
Album

Enter The Danger Brigade

Track Goodbye Cruel World

HEY PEOPLE ITS ME NEO ... WELL IM NOT SURE HOW LONG THIS IS GOING TO BE SO I WONT TYPE THE WHOLE THING IN CAPS... HERES THE SKINNY...

I NEED HELP!! yea im in a bit of a fix ... apparently citibank is tired of waiting for me to pay them (credit card bill) and the went to the courts and basically in addition to teh subpoena to my bank to freeze my NON EXISTING money they are in the process of figureing out howthey are going to basically take away eveything i own. how much do i owe? $1,922.49

Ive been paying them over the past couple of months through consumer credit counseling service a debt management program but they no longer want to deal with them. they want the balance in full now. dont ask me what im going to do because i have no idea... i have no assets, and i definitely dont have that much money lying around.

if you can help me out in anyway id appreciate it. money, prayer, advice , rich uncles who have a thing for bald black guys ... seriously i need help... im clueless ... im just praying about it right now ... thanks to whoever deciddes to help me out. and may god bless and keep you all

justin "neo" shockley
cell 646 288 2475
home 718 849 9150

Currently Playing
Living Sacrifice.
Album

Reborn

Track Something More

I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT... IT WAS SOOO ROMANTIC AND BEAUTIFUL... IT WAS ABOUT ME FALLING IN LOVE (SIDE NOTE IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THE GIFT OF PROPHECY FOR A WHILE SO LETS PRAY THIS IS PROPHETIC HAHAHAHA =) ) IT WAS ME AND THIS CUTE FEMALE AND I DONT KNOW WHO IT WAS BUT WE WERE HANGING OUT AND EVENTUALLY IT JUST HAPPENED.. OUR FEELINGS NATURALLY TACIDLY GREW .. WITHOUT WORDS... AND OUR HEARTS DREW CLOSER.... AFTER A WHILE IT WAS PHYSCIALLY MANIFESTED AND WE HELD HANDS.. NOT IN A NORMAL WAY BUT IT WAS AS IF GRAVITY PULLED OUR HANDS TOGETHER.

IT WAS SOOO BEAUTIFUL... ALL I COULD DO IS SIGH .. MAN I WAS ON CLOUD NINE HAHA =) SO YEA THAT WHATS ON MY MIND LATELY. I WAS GOING TO GO INTO BIBLICAL BACKING ETC BUT MEH SOMETHINGS ARE JUST UNDERSTOOD... AT LEAST ILL LEAVE IT AT THIS FOR NOW.

IVE BEEN LISTENING TO SOME LOVE SONGS HAHA... YEA IM A ROMANTIC :p

I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A DEEP THOUGHT... ITS A POEM BY SHEL SILVERSTEIN AND IT ILUSTRATES WHAT I THINK RELATIONSHIPS.. LOVE.. MARRIAGE SHOULD BE.

THE GIVING TREE

Once there was a giving tree who loved a little boy.
And everyday the boy would come to play
Swinging from the branches, sleeping in the shade
Laughing all the summer’s hours away.
And so they love,
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon the boy grew older and one day he came and said,
"Can you give me some money, tree, to buy something I’ve found?"
"I have no money," said the tree, "Just apples, twigs and leaves."
"But you can take my apples, boy, and sell them in the town."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon again the boy came back and he said to the tree,
"I’m now a man and I must have a house that’s all my home."
"I can’t give you a house" he said, "The forest is my house."
"But you may cut my branches off and build yourself a home"
And so he did.
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And time went by and the boy came back with sadness in his eyes.
"My life has turned so cold," he says, "and I need sunny days."
"I’ve nothing but my trunk," he says, "But you can cut it down
And build yourself a boat and sail away."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And after years the boy came back, both of them were old.
"I really cannot help you if you ask for another gift."
"I’m nothing but an old stump now. I’m sorry but I’ve nothing more to give"
"I do not need very much now, just a quiet place to rest,"
The boy, he whispered, with a weary smile.
"Well", said the tree, "An old stump is still good for that."
"Come, boy", he said, "Sit down, sit down and rest a while."
And so he did and
Oh, the trees was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

Currently Playing
XDiscipleX A.D.
Album

The Revelation

Track God Save Me

Lust

given the fact that i have my struggles and bouts with lust i thought itd be good to write about it. In that way i feel as though we could all help each other as believers. Not only that but id like for people to know what ive been through with it. The devil would love to isolate me and have me beat nyself up in a dark corner .. and slip further away but i know my saviors name... Jesus Christ... and he will hear me and save my soul if i repent and give up my will for his.

Well i first started having noticable problems with lust when i was in Junior high school. This was before i was saved so my perceptions of things were different. My friend who lived in my building had lots of porno videos we would all come over and watch. So for me like many others the world of pornography was always easily accessible. i remember going to local stores and boldly standing there looking at the adult mags... at this one store near me the lady stood by amazed that i was so boldly going where no teenage boy had gone before. This continued... there was movies magazines and thoughts of sex with females filled my head. my genes likened me to sexual immorality....

After i got saved i have to say that it was an issue but not like b4 (i got saved when i was 13) i didnt go to the places i went b4, didnt watch any pornos at my friends place etc. It was sort of dormant in ways until i got the internet....
many years later around 1999 i came across many interesting things.. one of them quite self distructive. at my fingertips and at any time of the day i could indulge in pornography. I could go on for hours about the destructive nature of what i was getting into but it just progressed and got worse. It grew into the worst spiritual struggle of my Christian walk. I struggled with it for 3.5 years .. after that Jesus broke the cycle of sin. Granted after that i still had to deal with it but the cycle was broken.
Those 3.5 years were hell ... i often fanticized about the porn stars thinking about how i could go to adult cons to have sex with them. i would spend hours on the pc ... days wasted .. just looking at the stuff. My mind was tormented becaue i couldnt understand how i could want to live for God so badly yet fall so far. But even after the cycle was broken i strugled.. not nearly as badly but when i fell man... i fell hard. i would call date lines to have phone sex with girls and after the internet was removed from my house i even got into masturbation. The addiction took new forms.

This tore me apart inside... it was just as Jesus said

luke 11: 17But He, knowing their thoughts, said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and a house divided against a house falls

my actions were tearing me apart.

One of the greatest revelations i recieved concerning this is the "why". God shared with me why i was doing what i was doing. During the course of my life ive endured a great amount of rejection. Ive spent a good portion of my life with no real friends... the family i have at UGC are fairly recent... im talking 3 years tops..
In dealing with isolation and rejection i turned to addiction. You see addiction is something that tries to substitute for a love we all long for. A perfect love that we look for in our everyday lives. We look for this perfect love in our mates,sex, our families, being normal, drugs, caffeene, the internet, reading, knowledge, you name it. But these addiction cannot make up for the perfect love only found in Christ.

Have i fallen to these years of issues recently? yes. was it bad? yes. all sin is bad. But i know i have a redeemer. He was resurrected and lives in me. God showed me this before i fell later that day.

Psalm 40 (New King James Version)

New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.


Psalm 40

Faith Persevering in Trial

(A)
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3He has put a new song in my mouth--
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.
4Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust,
And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
5Many, O LORD my God, are Your wonderful works
Which You have done;
And Your thoughts toward us
Cannot be recounted to You in order;
If I would declare and speak of them,
They are more than can be numbered.
6Sacrifice and offering You did not desire;
My ears You have opened.
Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require.
7Then I said, "Behold, I come;
In the scroll of the book it is written of me.
8I delight to do Your will, O my God,
And Your law is within my heart."
9I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness
In the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,
O LORD, You Yourself know.
10I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth
From the great assembly.
11Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O LORD;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.
12For innumerable evils have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;
They are more than the hairs of my head;
Therefore my heart fails me.
13Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me;
O LORD, make haste to help me!
14Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion
Who seek to destroy my life;
Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor
Who wish me evil.
15Let them be confounded because of their shame,
Who say to me, "Aha, aha!"
16Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let such as love Your salvation say continually,
"The LORD be magnified!"
17But I am poor and needy;
Yet the LORD thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God

one part in particular struck me and i nearly cried

3He has put a new song in my mouth--
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.

my struggles arent in vain. not only that im my fathers son. Jesus called me out by name. The things that go on in my life have purpose. When God delievers me people will see that and the hope that is in me will be in them. The fear of the lord will about to countless people. The prince of this world doesnt want this to happen. Imagine true freedom brought about by the hope of Jesus. No matter where weve been we have to realize that we are here to help each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Honestly sometimes i feel like im alone.. no one goes through what i do i say to myself.. lies.

I ask that you guys always pray for me, give me advise guided by the Holy spirit if you have it, call me late nights or whenever, talk to me, encourage me, love me. Ive gone through years of beating myself up but im learning more about Gods perfect love, how to love myself and how to love others.
Oh how i look foward to tommorow.. give this blog address to whoever needs it. and email me or call me if you want to talk.

Currently Playing
Mortification
Album

The Silver Chord is severed

Track The Silver Chord is severed (Ecc 12:1)

MY FRIEND REBEKAH EMAILED ME THIS... ITS A CONVO BETWEEN HER AND HER KIDS... THE FIRST PART IS BY TEXT MESSAGE THEN IT GOES INTO A LIVE PHONE CONVO.. LOL


A: Mom, are you there?
R:Yeah. What?
E: Ema wants a hamster ball.
R: I think we have one. I'm in an appt. I'll ttyl.

A few minutes pass.

A:Mom?
A:Mom?
A:Are you there? I really need to talk to you. Ema is freaking out.
A:Mom, Ema is freaking out because she just caught her gerbils making sweet, sweet love!
R:What? Call me in a minute.

I leave the office. My phone rings.
R: So what's going on?
A:Well apparently one of them isn't a boy and Ema is FREAKING OUT. She wants to talk to you. She won't stop crying.
R: Put her on the phone.
E: Mom - my HAMSTERS were dooooooing iiittttt! <-Read that in a wailing,crying kids voice.

Ana is the background: It's a GERBIL! GET IT RIGHT!!!

R: Well, Ema. I thought you said that you picked 2 boys.
E: I did. I thought I did. But the big one keeps humping the little one and I think they might be gaaaaay! <- Use that voice again

Now we get to hear Ana yell in the background
A: They aren't gay! How could you not notice the GIANT testicles on one and the LACK of them on the other?
E: I'm sooooory. I just thought they fell off in an accident.

Currently Playing
Symphony In Peril
Album

Lost memoirs and Faded Pictures

Track Can one posses Autumn?

MY FRIEND POSTED THIS ON MYSPACE.. MINE BY THE WAY IS www.myspace.com/neohxc
I DONT AGREE WITH EVERYTHING BUT FOR THE MOST PART I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY TRUTHFUL AND AWESOME


This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules
favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious?between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!?And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date?or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me?or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!?or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.?Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


GUYS- POST IF YOUR ONE OF THESE
GIRLS- POST IF YOUR LOOKING FOR ONE OR ARE JUST THANKFUL YOUVE HAD ONE

Currently Playing
Symphony In Peril
Album

Lost memoirs and Faded Pictures

Track Can one posses Autumn?

Psalm 130 (Amplified Bible)


A Song of Ascents.

1[a]OUT OF the depths have I cried to You, O Lord.
2Lord, hear my voice; let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
3If You, Lord, should keep account of and treat [us according to our] sins, O Lord, who could stand?(A)
4But there is forgiveness with You [just what man needs], that You may be reverently feared and worshiped.(B)
5I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope.
6I am looking and waiting for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, I say, more than watchmen for the morning.
7O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is mercy and loving-kindness, and with Him is plenteous redemption.
8And He will redeem Israel from all their iniquities.


Ive been going through some things and this morning i was led to this particular passage. Ive been having to deal with the Lust thats in my own heart and things of that nature. Hearing Gods voice give me hope though. Like i wrote in the poem in my last post Gods hope isnt dependentent on my despair. His redemption and deliverance comes when we ask him for it. It doesnt matter what we've done in our lives. God's grace overwhelms me because im so used to a condeming world. But ive learned through Christ that no man can put me in hell. No man can condemn me.

Unfortunately some Christians think they have to twist the bible to escape another mans condemnation. We shouldnt be living our lives for man. Let be honest with ourselves and Jesus will be glorified. Unfortunately alot of Christians think they have to act like a diety and be above non believers. " im so holy i cant go around those sinners... those wretched unsaved" but hmm dont you sin even though youre a Christian? i know i do... ive done some really sinful stuff since i was saved. Ive repented and moved on but i still did it.

We arent called to judge the world or even to say whos going to hell or not. We are called to love and spread the gospel

mark 1:15

... "(O)The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand...

Anyways i ask that you guys pray for me and the body of Christ.
also pray for my friend Brit .. she got kicked out of her place and she needs a place to stay
pray for Underground Church .. the building we meet in is owned by graffiti church and they are being sued because some people dont want a church in the community