Feardom

I thought I was fearless. But now I know I am not.
I have one fear.
one deep deep dark fear.
Its a cosmic fear.
its the fear that there is nothing in this universe that I can rely on.
which as you can imagine will effect everything I encounter in the world I live in.
It will effect my universe.
I now know it is only God who can conquer that fear.
I am in fact afraid that love itself doesn't exist.
What else can exist if this is a world where nothing lasts forever.
What else but darkness.
Ah.
But if Jesus rose from the grave. Which I believe he did.
Then there is one thing in the universe that will never end.
Then love does exist.
Then my fears are swallowed in a sea of endless love.
My fears are not truth.
My fears have died.
And I my friends... Free.
My fear no longer feardom..

Maybe we're the last two people on earth fighting sin with bloody knuckles. On earth made with plastic. like bags blowing against the god of wind. ears of chocolate and hearts made to be petty. I cry upward shout long and steady. a melody for the win.

Adorable Baby Crashes Daddy's Concert from coffey on GodTube.

And so I boldy asked of evil, 'what use do I have of thee?'
 then a loud bellowing rolled on past my shoulder behind me
 It was Lazarus who laughed. Like thunder on the ground below.
And with Joy at the site of victory;
for he and the angels who appreared knew I relaized.
 Sin had no grip on me.
 And good which now had it's day
 could dance and run free...

The God Plan

don't have to withhold love
don't have to judge
don't have to separate
don't have to fear my mistakes
don't have to focus on self
in fact I forget sometimes I'm me
all is made new
like the butterflies above
and the one thing I know
God is Love.

And... then we danced

And... then we danced


Knowing Jesus is like
God giving you a gentle kiss.
And we dance.
Like one family of children ...
we dance.

 Video - Prince "The Cross" http://www.bebo.com/c/video?FlashBoxId=7655657299

Engraved "No longer pitied"


engraved inside a fluttered path
sold I thought to a bitter past
awaken clearly a focused hope

can a monster like me be forgiven
can Jekyll's castle be a flower
a redeemed kindle authored beautiful

a sailors anchor after winds with calamity stalked
a whistling breeze
white shore following the horrors I fought

confused I am by my own pity
my heart distraught

My love I think of you
we did not even touch
even though made I an attempt
to your souls right I thought I bought

In my mind I weaved our love like a soliloquy
quite clever but destroyed
ripped it was smashed like a dropped lot

a single fragment of loves sweater remained
no warmth
just my megalomaniac thoughts

in case your wondering I love you
but it did not bring redemption
just pain and a relapse
my worship disorder
did
start

but I see now my true problem
its in and out above me
my true offense did start

I think a premise then quarry
I am was first so in him my maker
did I remark this

if love is a river constant
a water living with froth
burlesquing with energy
never ending

than to such beauty I have truly offending
for not with my life leaving my mark

why with worship of course if you're wondering
nothing clever
then all at once
like Isaiah
stop....

nothing so wonderful as being forgiven
so beauty so beauty
soli deo gloria
you end my start....

forgive me for being clever Lord
heal this broken heart...

There is a scene in the show TV show "Nikita" where Nikita is confronted by her own commitments (titled "True Believer"). There is a scene in it that helps me see what a follower of Christ must do. Quite simply a Christian must first accept grace in the deep recesses of their soul. Then obedience will follow but also a life that follows Christ with a covenantal understanding/experience of God's love.

Ravi Zacharias (www.rzim.org) stated "Half goodness is the essence of everything bad" How true is it when we crawl through  our faith and not realize its of no gain to live as a slave. To have two masters and live in two worlds. To live is Christ and to die is gain. We must give Christ our whole lives, put our heads down and run the race until we die; never looking back. It is only then that the world will be changed. It is only then that we will be changed freed men.

Quite simply as a result of dying to self and living for Christ we will be violent lovers. Prodigal love will fill the earth. A love as sacrificial as the Cross. How blameless is such a love that only points to him.


Nikita: Season 3 Ep 3 "True Believer"

Nikita: She asked me if I was willing to die for division. I didn't have an answer.
Alex: Nikita that's because you spent so much time trying to take this place down.
Nikita: exactly and in that time no one thought I could be stopped because I thought I was stronger or faster....... It had nothing to do with that.
Alex: Then What Was it?
Nikita: I was committed. I was more committed than my enemies. I believed. If I lose that....

Hopeless


Hopeless
it hurts
pointless my bitter end
disire confounded by wind

will I ever win?
love constantly lost
will my ship cast wind
probably not
I drown in faulty
slipping in my own underwear

perfectly sloppy
this is my despair
desire

repeatedly wonky
why do I come alongside fear
dissapear
can no one gift me pity
I have enough for the lot

burdening my hurt
loft swings as master
my home made master
singleness unlike stot

wading for a while
looking for mercy
painfully turning towards grace and eternal savings

crawling toward dawns twilight

Meshed

In your face in your face
I write this line
lines
so rhetoric-al your brain
a pill
pain-full your idiot-synchronicity
provincial non intellectual
when glory inside

I miss you

so these I write verbally masturbate
in your face
using my insides as bait
but wait
so senile your mental aptitude
alone my words will date

but I love you

too late Ill not wait
my lines drop like anchors
will I sink
alone in this ocean
in my mind you'll never find me

perhaps you're honest even

but I let go anyway
dead and awake

Gust

This wind will gust
then I will trust
though this may storm
your word my norm

ignore me Lord
My prideful quakes
with every burst
my mistrust more late

Ill want Ill desire
morning breaking
more needy
more dire

My perfect storm
is where I found you
Lord master
my fire

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

In Jesus Name.

My King has come.

Timing


But that's the way life works..
you see you plant a tree
then you wait for the rain
you say yes to marriage
then you persevere through the pain

you are born from a mom and a dad
you all honor and respect
you all fail and accept
then all stay steady and love all beyond regret

you give to those who need
you friend the crippled and lame
you hold your heart in your hand
knowing those ties will and must cause you pain

you walk two feet forward
bare naked arms outstretched
despite being called insane

say ill love you - - all ready
give you all within I can
you say Ill resist my inner pitiful piety
if you spit Ill say I love you child
no regrets
all the same

you see life is a time called remedy
intuition is in this scenario referred to as lame
its dumb and persistent
it just comes back each time arms ready
beat blood pump
each pulse sure of the next ones steady

You see love is what I hide here
beneath the nativity of my line
love will only help you see the grand mind

You see its love that held him steady
and its love that made life's design
its love that makes you unready
its love that will help you understand time
its love my Lord gives us to give to many
its love all love all day all the time

in those moments you'd rather just give in to pity
how much you deserve
how wrong they are
how right your way is divine
its in those times we're dumber than flowers
more ignorant than grass mice or time
you see at the very least they obey logistics
at least they obey their design
life is a constant Gardner
it takes perseverance
steady
time

life on earth didn't start in an instant
perfection didn't even rhyme
it was darkness wading in chaos
it was spoken then man sculpted from Gods mind
how much care should we take for one another
how much should we give of ....time?



Romans 5:8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Resist

Restart.

Pause.

Breath.

It's my last regret

forcing these lines to therapy my demise

I wait for you to involve yourself with these lines

my instagram of beauty Lord you've captured my heart

Ill not give in

nothing will darken my heart

purified time gives in and Im refined

restore.

renew.

give me my new mind

ashes restored

as sun bleeds new day

clearly clearly

new day

new day

organic licorice



so I drown my sorrows in organic black licorice
cuz that's all it deserves

down them all in licorice
cuz that's the extent
ill give my pain of my nerves


Our Lord has made death a gardener
Ill rejoice in his holy name
ill regret not
making a bed for pity
Ill dance all over my shame

poor and rejected
my high position the worlds shame
let them laugh at my broke and limber
strong dirty stride down the street

Ill suck on organic black licorice to down my pity
that's all it deserves
all it'll get
I know who I am
Our lord Jesus Christ
given me my name

Caught in his light



Its a

God shaped hole in ya soul

Its a

God shaped hole in ya soul

you didnt bake it
regardless of what ya do there's no fakin' it

its a big ol God shaped hole in ya soul

so sit for a while
turn off your pda
wifi signal down

get really lonely
and really hear what the light has to say
in the darkness of your soul

really listen what the blindness has already seen
what the proudness shyly mentioned
what mistake correctly pronounced

what.
what.
what.

you've repeatedly said
caught up in lights web
touched the tip of your soul with this
imistakable force

in the waking moments of your slumber
you're outside lookin' in now
if you just stop
if you've already stopped

for one moment like you asked
if your soul was ready

walk on
caught in the light

The Love Oh Lord and will



I woke from the brokeness
hands full of dust
teeth hurt from the struggle
pits sweaty with musk

fighting my innards
my hearts wayward will
relentless this glory
a king made love his kill

looking down on my kingdom of ruin
how Ive made my life ill
emerging from my rubble
you G-d
for thine i will forever live
Christ Lord
your will

Galactica 17 

For unto us a Son is given.

This earth rejoice

It's mirth this day beginning

let everyone take heart and brace

this day a new morn

we've experienced his face

from age to age his baby skin now shed

put trust.

take hope.

celebrate.

that day of salvation
...our galactic bread

Relentless

Today I woke with the sun in my eyes

performing I crashed

was thought to be my demise

but God rushed in to my surprise

said all will end

calm your heart

just wait stop

listen

the demise is demised

and then in the backroom

a rumbling occurred

a broken scratched scruffy melody

erupted the sky

then all at once the child choir spoke

evangelizing my darkness

it would not relent

Christ woke the dungeon

and would not let me rest

he burned my coffin

and told me to go

there are more who've never seen a cake's repentance

lest any attempt to deny

my glory does move oceans

my canopy covers the sky

my love is amazing

then grace made fireworks fill my belly like pie

#occupywallstreet

If you're working class you were born with a "gun" in your hand.

fighting an invisible man.

with a taste in your mouth you can't stand

your life is a line in the sand

economics are controlled by a few man

you shoot and fire

while your feet are in sinking sand

face red

fist clenched

you cry out

what does it mean...

to be human?

and why am I struggling

for rights

when I have two legs upon which to stand?

Twilight


I was left in the dark
black as night

alone in the pitch
tone like midnight

left in this bigness
empty and silent
vacant Im wearied

then incidentally
a barely twinkled weary
star performed
and gave me some light
limping

all at once they all of them
every star singing
this vacancy whispered
Im winning

this darkness is much less
than I percieved
at the mercy of this twilight army

but wait they said
wait for the mercy of our father
for we are but twilight
a shadow of his light

when he shines
the tears will fall from your eyes

and I turned my eyes
so blinding it did shine

the sun in my eyes
light

so help me God
light took my mind

......and it did shine....