Tired of money

Why why why why why why why why

because

money

I can feel the flow 

the warms of my small sisters hands

I kneel down in the dirt on a Sunday morning

the sun spills in 

warm I smile

I say hello

one speaks

the other glows on my skin

I wake to the cool shower stream

no bath cause' I'm in a hurry

to ride my bike in the spring air

march 

April 

May has sprung and I'm free

but I don't have much

two dollars to my name

Ill buy a slice and dance in the afternoon

spring

such a wonderful season

without 

money

doesn't determine

why does it determine

this love peace connection with 

my family and spring air I feel

doesn't account to

money

then as if the first few hours were not enough

a full moon glow

atop a city rooftop

cool drink in my hand

with freinds who's life I touched

we share more words that let us know

we're all stardust in the universe

cosmic vomit birthed some time after time began

we all sit drinks in hand

atop that rooftop

silent for a moment

as the moon dances naked before us

the light highlighting the warm air

drops of melted ice water rolling down

we pause then

money

doesn't factor in here.

money 

why is it even here

money

wasn't invited here

money

wed be richer if you weren't here.

Generation Wealthy
(a rejection of conventional wealth)

I would have exercise my contempt
my dissatisfaction with your verdict
your 'honor'

because it seems as though your court is corrupt
in mind and thought
you base your generation on monitary gains
you say my generation is headed for tough pain

why?
becuase we live in smaller homes?
because our pockets aren't stacked?
Or could it be due to the rich amongst us that we lack?

I say we're wealthy if we call meetings to make sure all are clothed
I say were richer if we have potlucks to make sure all are fed
I say were richer if we email our friends to rally for there needs

10 million miles across the globe and weeping after hours on knees
I say we're richer becuase due to facebook we've met our brothers who
instigated the arab spring

we occupy each others hearts
we groan together farm love and feel
not greed.

you say my generation is measured by our home?
I say we build our own and share
fire the realtors and just give everyone a home

you say it isnt reality I say look at your bank
arent we all poorer?
don't we all want to stop living for rent?

there is no high without the low
there is no spring without snow

there is no vision where few conquer the many
besides I may not have much but.


Ill fight with you.
no matter where you are
Ill love with you.
If you cant walk
Ill carry you.
If you are being oppressed
Ill uplift you.

we are a global island with compassion taking all vacancies
our economy run by mercy's currency
with no money all richer
and none
left alone or needy

CRPS
(A poem for the afflicted. Hope for CRPS sufferers)

Reply
Reply my creator reply

for tonight I weary and curse my very air


yearn
no words just the still pool of bleak
bathing in darkness
its suffocating me
filling my lungs
deep

Ill use less words
its taking my air
the doctors don't even flinch
when I say I want to take his scalpel
end loves journey
with him watching
oh my what peace
my glance lifeless
the only thing left of me
cadavers glare

My workload is misery
my friends truly can't care
how could they?
who translates here

Requiem De mi Alma
mi alma no puedo sentir el toque del amor
forgive me
my maker my Requiem mass
because I've forgotten what love is
this pain feels like I unexist
touch me please
Amen

Skyfalls

I fear myself scared
I lie silent with despicable expectation

this night
this rapid darknesss
insipid odor of its rank develops my soul
its black not brown
its all in my teeth
pushing out my cavities
taking over


I am
on the ground I lie eyes open
searching for a friend
with a heart and hand
light my way
but am I?
I'm staring to believe the dark
the black not brown

Im starting to slave my mind
molding it to shadows powerless whisper
I look inside
its my darkness in this black not brown place
Im alone
that's what I say as if schizophrenia suddenly developed in this place

but I stop and there something forms
a counter
a hope
a real thing

what if Im not lost
my fear really to do with him
I look to the sky
no remembering for a moment what tragedy Im in

what if my fear was really of not having him?
he would never lead me lonely
with him right I would never not win..

the stillness ceases to be darkness
I open the door
SKY
let him in
the dungeon fills with light
the black not brown room no more
spring

August burns Red

August burns Red, a photo by JustinTshockley.com on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Lyrics from the song:Cutting The Ties by August Burns Red
(christian band)

Silence is a frustrating answer when all you want is a sign.
Silence is a frustrating answer when all you wanted is a sign.

It’s hard to be surrounded by the ones that you love when they keep passing you by.
(passing you by)

Beneath the tough facade I know that we are getting through.
None of us are ready to just remember you.

Whenever you are lost, I know that we can find you standing outside screaming at the sky.

Don’t let the tears of agony consume your heart.
Let it beat on in hopes and dreams of a new start.

No one knows the weight on your shoulders.
No one knows the burdens you bare. These thoughts won’t stop.

I’d be so easy to take the easy way out. I’d be so easy to take the easy way out.

Compassion is a beautiful thing, so show some for yourself.
Rock solid from the outside looking in.
Rock solid from the outside looking in. Inside you’re praying for help.
Rock solid from the outside looking in. You’re praying for help.

It’s hard to be surrounded by the ones that you love when they keep passing you by.
(passing you by)

Beneath the tough facade I know that we are getting through.
Life is a gift. Remember this. Remember this.

Break free. Break free. Break free.

I know silence is a hard answer when all you want is a sign.
Patience is a virtue. (a virtue) You will be revived.

Coptic 

(inspired by Egyptian Coptic Christian Poem)

No matter what happens I'll die with my faith
this pain this dagger in my flesh
torturing me
torment
years on end

But I'll die with my faith
tears and thought so ending it all
the cross submerged by the broken levy
my air on fire within me
with salt in lung
sinking

But still
I'll die with my faith

Fall down
get up
cry repent
beg God and plead
for a hand to hold
in a desert so dry
where a wet tear should appear
now dry
where I would cry I say

I'll die with my faith

Over and again I crawl to win
the end is the win
not beginning or half end
the final point
the end

So scared with wombs
 I go I go
no matter what I moan
for freedom my heart wails
bellows with the volume of the brightest star
saying

Ill go until spent
and I'll die
I'll die with my faith

I

A Steady Slow

I used to think
that love was merely a calm
straight
stream
But now love I see
love what you tried to give me to see
how blind you are
but how beautiful to me

a wild water
rapid roar and crash
an avalanche with emotion
a steady calm lake
so quiet the stillness makes one laugh

so steady so constant
you never leave the beloved behind
so forgiving
your sweetness bears no grudge after 20 years time

you stand there
just
hear what I'm saying about love
just standing there
picture what I'm saying
fixated there
feel what I'm moaning

stayed.

there.

how prideful I've been
love
so arrogant to imply I knew you
called another you
how I still have the lies in my heart
but you wait
still you wait for me
but this old soul
tired of truth gone wrong

slowly looking down
more and more mirth filling my soul
the grace in realizing
you
and it was always you
loved me
first.

New Face

do you think the holy chorus
an homage to your name
all angels align in jubilee

to your record you've made free of shame
vestals lot blameless
all folly remembered not
a made man of your own premonition
a prophet of heads whim

but the master is one who made you pretty
your heart still filled with that shame
its the son's record you've been given
no need therefore to mask your shame

its him he is perfection
its him his beautiful face
we behold alongside his glory
now and only now
neglecting our folly
we feast on the masters face.....

War

Met a whore one day
she told me she was happy

free

I want to make some money
travel
be free

I love the way it feels
globetrotting the land
I am master of my dominion

My opinion rules this land
I make no man my master
I live inside the truth of my mind

no Christ emerging to shatter
the kingdom I've designed

alas I said to this whoremonger
this harlot who doth invade
the uncleanness with which she emboldened
the fear absent in this knave.

Then suddenly I saw it
the scales dropped from my eyes
before I could loose a consenent
vowels still being molded in my mind

I saw before me a mirror
the whoremonger had my eyes
the harlot my neck
the Jezebel my thighs

She was me she was me
my heart felt truths sting

I was the loose harlot
my self righteousness my own
dear Lord please free me

Emancipate my mind.

Feardom

I thought I was fearless. But now I know I am not.
I have one fear.
one deep deep dark fear.
Its a cosmic fear.
its the fear that there is nothing in this universe that I can rely on.
which as you can imagine will effect everything I encounter in the world I live in.
It will effect my universe.
I now know it is only God who can conquer that fear.
I am in fact afraid that love itself doesn't exist.
What else can exist if this is a world where nothing lasts forever.
What else but darkness.
Ah.
But if Jesus rose from the grave. Which I believe he did.
Then there is one thing in the universe that will never end.
Then love does exist.
Then my fears are swallowed in a sea of endless love.
My fears are not truth.
My fears have died.
And I my friends... Free.
My fear no longer feardom..

Maybe we're the last two people on earth fighting sin with bloody knuckles. On earth made with plastic. like bags blowing against the god of wind. ears of chocolate and hearts made to be petty. I cry upward shout long and steady. a melody for the win.

Adorable Baby Crashes Daddy's Concert from coffey on GodTube.

And so I boldy asked of evil, 'what use do I have of thee?'
 then a loud bellowing rolled on past my shoulder behind me
 It was Lazarus who laughed. Like thunder on the ground below.
And with Joy at the site of victory;
for he and the angels who appreared knew I relaized.
 Sin had no grip on me.
 And good which now had it's day
 could dance and run free...

The God Plan

don't have to withhold love
don't have to judge
don't have to separate
don't have to fear my mistakes
don't have to focus on self
in fact I forget sometimes I'm me
all is made new
like the butterflies above
and the one thing I know
God is Love.

And... then we danced

And... then we danced


Knowing Jesus is like
God giving you a gentle kiss.
And we dance.
Like one family of children ...
we dance.

 Video - Prince "The Cross" http://www.bebo.com/c/video?FlashBoxId=7655657299

Engraved "No longer pitied"


engraved inside a fluttered path
sold I thought to a bitter past
awaken clearly a focused hope

can a monster like me be forgiven
can Jekyll's castle be a flower
a redeemed kindle authored beautiful

a sailors anchor after winds with calamity stalked
a whistling breeze
white shore following the horrors I fought

confused I am by my own pity
my heart distraught

My love I think of you
we did not even touch
even though made I an attempt
to your souls right I thought I bought

In my mind I weaved our love like a soliloquy
quite clever but destroyed
ripped it was smashed like a dropped lot

a single fragment of loves sweater remained
no warmth
just my megalomaniac thoughts

in case your wondering I love you
but it did not bring redemption
just pain and a relapse
my worship disorder
did
start

but I see now my true problem
its in and out above me
my true offense did start

I think a premise then quarry
I am was first so in him my maker
did I remark this

if love is a river constant
a water living with froth
burlesquing with energy
never ending

than to such beauty I have truly offending
for not with my life leaving my mark

why with worship of course if you're wondering
nothing clever
then all at once
like Isaiah
stop....

nothing so wonderful as being forgiven
so beauty so beauty
soli deo gloria
you end my start....

forgive me for being clever Lord
heal this broken heart...

There is a scene in the show TV show "Nikita" where Nikita is confronted by her own commitments (titled "True Believer"). There is a scene in it that helps me see what a follower of Christ must do. Quite simply a Christian must first accept grace in the deep recesses of their soul. Then obedience will follow but also a life that follows Christ with a covenantal understanding/experience of God's love.

Ravi Zacharias (www.rzim.org) stated "Half goodness is the essence of everything bad" How true is it when we crawl through  our faith and not realize its of no gain to live as a slave. To have two masters and live in two worlds. To live is Christ and to die is gain. We must give Christ our whole lives, put our heads down and run the race until we die; never looking back. It is only then that the world will be changed. It is only then that we will be changed freed men.

Quite simply as a result of dying to self and living for Christ we will be violent lovers. Prodigal love will fill the earth. A love as sacrificial as the Cross. How blameless is such a love that only points to him.


Nikita: Season 3 Ep 3 "True Believer"

Nikita: She asked me if I was willing to die for division. I didn't have an answer.
Alex: Nikita that's because you spent so much time trying to take this place down.
Nikita: exactly and in that time no one thought I could be stopped because I thought I was stronger or faster....... It had nothing to do with that.
Alex: Then What Was it?
Nikita: I was committed. I was more committed than my enemies. I believed. If I lose that....

Hopeless


Hopeless
it hurts
pointless my bitter end
disire confounded by wind

will I ever win?
love constantly lost
will my ship cast wind
probably not
I drown in faulty
slipping in my own underwear

perfectly sloppy
this is my despair
desire

repeatedly wonky
why do I come alongside fear
dissapear
can no one gift me pity
I have enough for the lot

burdening my hurt
loft swings as master
my home made master
singleness unlike stot

wading for a while
looking for mercy
painfully turning towards grace and eternal savings

crawling toward dawns twilight

Meshed

In your face in your face
I write this line
lines
so rhetoric-al your brain
a pill
pain-full your idiot-synchronicity
provincial non intellectual
when glory inside

I miss you

so these I write verbally masturbate
in your face
using my insides as bait
but wait
so senile your mental aptitude
alone my words will date

but I love you

too late Ill not wait
my lines drop like anchors
will I sink
alone in this ocean
in my mind you'll never find me

perhaps you're honest even

but I let go anyway
dead and awake

Gust

This wind will gust
then I will trust
though this may storm
your word my norm

ignore me Lord
My prideful quakes
with every burst
my mistrust more late

Ill want Ill desire
morning breaking
more needy
more dire

My perfect storm
is where I found you
Lord master
my fire

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

Im loved

In Jesus Name.

My King has come.